Let's talk about God's love for a quick moment; it's jealous, perfect, intentional, and never failing. I mean, seriously, He's passionately, jealously desiring to spend time with us. It shouldn't be complicated/difficult to feel loved-- He's never stopped loving us.
Yet every now and then we'll fall into a funk. I had the night off last night. I NEVER have the night off so I was pretty excited going into it. Would I do work? No! Would I start preparing lessons or research for papers or run errands? No!! I was going to bum around, play some video games or something, and get some rest.
But... going into the night I saw a couple couple's too many --- you know, the kind that are, uh, actually in love with each other. It's amazing how drastically a small trigger can throw off the next few hours.
Now fortunately I sensed the funk so did some things to snap me out of it --- for example switch gears, DON'T listen to sad music, find a good friend to talk to, etc. I tried cutting the funk off at the pass... and meh, was mildly successful.
Still, it shouldn't be hard for me to feel loved. I KNOW that God loves me, I've been blessed with years of Him making that love clear to me. But argh, somewhere along the way I picked up a lie that surfaces every now and then, a lie that says... well, doesn't matter what the lie says. What matters is that God's love is jealous, perfect, intentional, and everlasting.
:(
ReplyDeleteI have had overwhelming "funks" by I never doubted God's love for me. Stop watching couple's coupling. Sounds like a trigger!!!! REST in who you are and who God is.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I think it's really encouraging to hear your response to what happened, whether or not it was successful.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you should absolutely write that poem! I should hope for subtle hints at Kierkegaard and Marx's secret bff-ness!
Oops, I wrote this post incorrectly. I didn't mean to say I doubt that God loves me --- what I was trying to say is that (at times) I doubt others can/do love me and that the solution is realizing there is someone who absolutely 100% without question loves me, and that person is God.
ReplyDeleteA funk might convince me that I'll be without the love of other humans, but no funk can convince me that God doesn't love me because He's proved it to me.
That's what I meant to say!