Want a job? Get married!

That was some of the worst advice I ever received. At the time I was young in ministry and meeting with a regional director of church planting to talk about my future. I thought I was ready for any encouragement this individual could give. I thought wrong:

“If you want to get a job, I have two pieces of advice: the first is to join a large church and hope to land an unpaid internship, the second is to find a wife and get married.”

Photo credit: Llamnuds via Flickr

Ugh. I felt so deflated. I had gone into the meeting excited, thinking maybe this director could help me take the next couple of steps towards a life of full-time ministry. After all, what Christian organization wouldn’t want to focus a young guy who loves the Lord, is passionate about sharing God’s message with new people, and willing to go wherever ministry took him?

This would-be mentor messed up. His advice made me feel small, alone, and unsupported. As I remember that awful day, and as we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I ponder what advice he could have given me:

1. Singleness is a gift. So is marriage. And God calls people to both in order to reveal His design for relationships to the world. Our relationship status is never a handicap to what God can do through us.

2. There are countless ways to “enter ministry,” even when we’re talking a ministry role that will help to put a roof over your head. Persist at loving God and loving people, and a door will open when you need it.

3. Ministries come in all shapes and sizes. There are benefits to going to a big church but also benefits to going to a small church. God’s provision is not restricted to one kind of church structure.

Across the blogosphere today you’ll see countless posts on how God still loves single people (which is true!), and how marriage isn’t just for our happiness but is also to show God’s love to the world (which is also true!), but I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage you, no matter your relationship status:

God has a plan for your life. It’s a good plan. You’re not waiting for that plan to start, it’s happening. Right now. You’re in it. So seek Him foremost and everything else will fall into place.

Do you have any horror stories of bad advice? Add a comment below, I’d love to hear about your experiences.